May.

I have hardly/ haven't blogged at all for the month of May. It's because I have been busy. You see, it's because I was busy checking out residents,
cleaning out North Hall,
dressing up as the Duggar family,
making music videos,
saying long goodbyes,
giving long hugs,
packing up all my junk,
driving 4 hours in solitude- beautiful solitude,
starting orientation at a new job,
unpacking all my junk,
enjoying the presence of Claire,
sitting in the hospital with my mom,
celebrating Mother's Day in the hospital over a Subway lunch,
starting my new job for real,
getting fingerprints printed,
going to hockey games,

and so on......


I feel really blessed to have my new job. It is crazy how perfect it is for me. I am working as a PCA (patient care associate) at Hope Children's Hospital for the pediatric oncology floor. The kids are mostly cancer kids but some have other health issues. I am going to learn so much. I have already done my first 12 hour shift, and I will do my first 7PM to 7AM shift on Tuesday. I am going to get so comfortable working with patients and their families, and I am so excited. It is no doubt going to be hard for me emotionally. I was emotional last night when I got home. It's hard for me to think about little or big kids going home on hospice. It seems like their life hasn't even started whether they are 1 year old or 17 years old. It just seems unfair. These kids have huge hearts. They have stories and memories, and they are held back by cancer or degenerative diseases. It breaks my heart. I want to help them so bad, but I just had to keep reminding myself last night as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep that God has plans for them. He loves these kids and their smiles more than I do, and He is going to take care of them and their families.

My prayer is that He will just use me to do whatever He sees fit- whether it's just spending time with the kids, bringing them their lunch, or helping the nurses with their treatments. I just want to help, and I want to make them smile. Although this job has the potential to make me cry every day, I know I am going to love it. I know this is what I am supposed to be doing this summer, and I know that God is going to help me serve these families.

I'm sure I will be having many talks with God about these kids.

I feel blessed in a weird way.