I am going to be completely, totally, and 100% honest right now.
I am exhausted. Not the physically can't keep my eyes opened tired, but the emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually, and physically on the side - tired. So much has happened in one week. Our dorm has gone from empty to packed with residents singing Wicked songs at the top of their lungs. The campus has gone from peaceful to units getting defensive and competitive over games of lodgeball that are really just meant to build community. I have gone from only having to worry about how smoothly move in day was going to go to having to balance all my new classes, new and old friends, a new job, and being this "catalyst" for ResLife week. It's just all a little overwhelming right now. I am trying to find the balance. This year has brought a lot more changes than last year at this time, and I think it all just takes some getting used to.
I feel like this is making it sound like my week has gone horribly- which it hasn't. I think I will enjoy my classes- as hard as they might get. I feel privileged to be a part of a school that can take an hour out of their week to turn the academic year over to Christ and have a prayer walk that stretches many feet long of Christ filled people. I mean really- I can't think of many other places I have been that do that. I love watching the freshmen adjust to this 'new life'. It's exhilarating. Tomorrow, I will spend all day cheering on these freshmen girls in a boat race, pudding tug of war, and a talent show that in my opinion shouldn't be a part of the first week of college for these girls, and I will love it.
I guess I am just realizing that it is hard for me to say that I am feeling "tired". I can tell people all day that I need to go to sleep or that I just want to go to bed, but I have the hardest time putting in to words my thoughts when I get in these 'moods', this kind of 'tired'. I think it is because I feel like I have to have this put together persona so people don't tell me I am doing to much (that's one of my pet peeves), and I don't - - that's just ridiculous. I will get some good rest tonight, and then study this weekend to prepare for this week. Then my mom and grandma will be visiting next weekend which makes me very excited.
I wrote this verse in a letter to a friend this week- I think I should have paid more attention to it.
"For do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10.