To think of all that has happened in the past few weeks makes my head spin.
Graduation came and went. All but four of my family members were able to come to baccalaureate and pinning. That was such a special time for me, and I just felt all the love and support they have for me. I am so blessed. The whole graduation experience is such a funny one. It is such a big day. Such a big accomplishment. You talk about the day you walk across that stage for yearsssss, and then it's over! You celebrate for the day, and then you find yourself in a three day NCLEX class. Right on to the next thing.
We had the NCLEX class which was so overwhelming. So much information for such a short time. I spent most of my day in class and then would spend the rest of the time with my staff since they were getting ready to leave and there were final work responsibilities to fulfill. Then there were also all my friends who were getting ready to move out too, and it was such a hard balance to find.
After everyone had moved out and after I had packed up all of my things one last time, Noelle, Lindsay, and I went to French Lick, Indiana for a little getaway to our cabin in the woods. Noelle was so gracious in giving us this trip as a gift, and we sure made some great memories. I have been meaning to make a video of the experience, but I just have not gotten around to that yet. That will be soon.
Then Linds came straight home with me, and we spent a few days together before she went back to PA for good. That was so fun, but I still look back on it and think it was such a blur because it was at the end of all this craziness. I don't think it will click that she is now in PA for a while, especially because I know I will be flying out there in a few months for her wedding. Regardless, it was such a special time.
Since she has left, it has been all work and studying. I have been adjusting back to working at the children's hospital. Although I love it, it is always so exhausting in those first few weeks because I forget how taxing it is physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Despite all of that, I have been given such affirmation that pediatric oncology is where I want to start as a nurse. I am trusting God through the process but am still clinging to that desire of wanting to work there when all is said and done. When I am not working, I am studying. For that thing called the NCLEX. I sit in the library right by the window with my coffee and go to town. I could easily freak out over the whole thing and sit there trying to figure out how to get three years of nursing school to resurface everything I've learned on the top of my brain, but I just have this peace that if God got me through three years of nursing school, He is going to get me through the NCLEX - whatever that may look like.
Through these past few weeks, I have been surprised at the things that make me stressed. I don't like when people ask me what's next. I can barely tell you what is happening tomorrow. I don't like when they ask me where I want to work. I don't want to admit that I want to stay at the hospital I am at in the chance that I might not get a job there at all. I think I am striving too hard to make people like me at the hospital, and I wish I could just shut that off. I had to clean out my entire room to make room for a QUEEN bed. So I went through every little thing - literally everything - that was in that room. It is so crazy to see the things that I thought were worth keeping. Or to see friendships that I treasured in years past. Or to see how much I have changed in the past four years of college. Then there is that reality that that change is going to keep coming. Whether it is sleeping in a queen bed instead of a twin or paying my own health insurance, I am going to keep "growing up" in all senses of the words, and I just want to make sure I am keeping myself humbled through it all. Never once thinking that I am doing it on my own or forgetting to stop and praise God for all that He is doing. Life is happening, and this could be such a good and exciting thing if I keep Him at the center.
For now, I am grateful for days where I can go on a lunch date with dad before I study and where I can go on a Target shopping spree with my mom later tonight. These days that I get all this time with them are such a gift to me.