I have just been feeling really heavy lately.
Heavy with the obvious school stress, heavy for friends I know are making poor decisions, heavy for family burdens, heavy for the idea of this year ending yet wanting a break so badly, heavy for the nooks and crannies that I still need to go through for our Brazil trip, and heavy with thinking that I am letting God down.
I spend a lot of time thinking if these "heavy things" are worth my time and energy and emotions. Most of them probably aren't. However, sometimes it just becomes exhausting to want to love everyone all the time. We are not meant to carry the burdens of every single person we know, unfortunately. It's days like today and this week where I hit a wall because I spend so many other days thinking that I CAN help all my broken friends, make a garage sale happen in two weeks, get A's in my classes, create unity on my Brazil team that I couldn't even imagine, hold on to all the relationships formed within my staff this year, make decisions regarding next year's staff that seem too far away to think through logically, present myself as the perfect candidate for my job interview on Friday, be a support to my family from 200 miles away, and still have the energy to wake up in the morning. The reality is that I CAN'T.
I can only do these things when Christ strengthens me. Why would I ever even try and think I can do this on my own? I am weak, I am still learning, and I am just a little girl laying all my worries at the feet of the Lord.
I am inadequate, and He is more than enough.
I am so ready for a few days at home.