Sunday, January 8, 2012

Gramma.

Sometimes it's hard to come back to school. I have come to find that for me, it is most times that it is hard to come back. And you want to know what? I had a hunch that something was going to happen while I was home. I just felt it, but I pushed it down and said that I was being ridiculous.

Gramma was taken to the ER Thursday night because she fainted at home. Her blood pressure was very high, and her pulse was very low. She had lots of tests done and several complications. For a while, her memory was off. They determined that she might have an electrical problem with her heart and that she had had a small stroke. The smallest you can have. It was a scary few days and definitely an emotional roller coaster. There was hours of waiting and unknowns. There was a lot of pacing and praying. But right before I left last night, I was sitting at the foot of her bed rubbing her feet and she was my gramma again. Still a little foggy, but she was there - telling me she was worried about me driving in the dark. So I put on my coat and took some deep breaths and once again had to pull myself away from the people that I care about so much. I kept asking God for strength. It is crazy to think of how many hospitalizations and bad things that have happened since I decided to move three hours away to IWU. But as I was driving last night, I had healthy perspective and was able to see how faithful God has been. HE has gotten me through, and whenever I think that I cannot get back in the car and travel those 200 miles that separate me from people that I hold onto so tightly, HE gently sits me in the seat and buckles me up and tells me to trust. That's all I can do. Trust in His plan. He will be in all of those follow up doctors appointments and tests, and He will continue to love and care for my family more than I think I can.

So I will be in Marion. Praying for my Gramma.

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